Features > The Guidance Counselor
by Doug McClelland
(posted November, 2004)
From:
Smoothie
Subject: Shaving
Question: My partner prefers smooth balls and a shaved ass.
I am willing to accommodate this (I am moderately hairy) but don't
have a clue as to how to go about shaving my most sensitive parts
(hell, I hate shaving my face). Any tips? I'd like to surprise him
with a new smooth me.
Dear Smoothie: It is great that you are willing to try different things to please your lover. Shaving is really pretty much the same wherever on your body you plan to do it. Lots of warm water, shaving cream, and a good razor is all you need. With your balls, just stretch the skin smooth with one hand and shave with the other. You can squat over a mirror if you want to see the process but really should be able to do it by feel. Some guys like to do it in the shower so everything washes away. I have to warn you that letting it grow back in afterwards is highly irritating.
One final suggestion: how about having your partner do your shaving? Why not surprise him with a razor and shaving cream and let him have the pleasure of removing the hair from your sensitive parts?
From:
Horny, gay and alone
Subject: Cruising
Question: I am twenty years old and have finally decided
to accept that I am gay. I have known it for a long time, like since
I was twelve, but have never been with another guy for anything.
I want to meet other guys now and since I am too young to go to
a gay bar I have been going to parks and street cruising trying
to meet someone my age. The problem is I don't know how to tell
when someone else is interested. I am a bit shy plus it's a bad
idea to walk up to a person in the park and ask them if they are
gay. So how do you tell if someone is interested? Are there signals
with car lights or anything, like flashing your left turn signal?
And when you are driving down a highway, I read once that a signal
is to flash your brakes lights twice when a car goes by the other
way and if the other person is interested they will flash their
brake lights back at you. Is this true? Please help me. If there
are not any car light signals, how about coming up with a system
to help guys like me. Thanks!
Dear Horny, gay and alone: The United States has the highest drinking age in the world at twenty-one. In 1984 the US government declared that it would withdraw federal funds from highway projects in any states that did not raise their drinking age to twenty-one (the theory being that it would reduce traffic deaths). Where I grew up in Canada the drinking age was eighteen and at sixteen I had fake ID that got me into most bars, so I sympathize with your situation. So much of gay culture is based around bars but you have less than a year to wait before you hit the bar scene, which is not that long.
If you are a bit shy cruising can be hard at first. If you are not comfortable approaching other men, then what you need to do is make yourself approachable. Smile at potential guys, look them in the eye, make yourself clearly available, and if someone says hello say hello back. I have heard this thing about flashing your brake lights before but it seems to me that it would be more viable in a known cruising area than just driving down the highway. I assume you are checking our listings for cruisy spots in your area.
It seems to me that you are the type of guy who could benefit from Internet cruising. Check our Personals and Message Board for ads (or the hundreds of other cruising Web sites out there) from guys in your area, or list your own profile and see who contacts you.
Finally, how about checking out some gay support groups for younger guys to find out if there are any social activities in your area for underage guys. Good luck.
From:
Sexaholic
Subject: Double-fucking
Question: I got a question about double fucking and condoms.
I'm a bottom and I use to have a lot of gay sex including group
sex and gangbangs. I love big dicks and I used to get double-fucked
a lot but I used to fuck mostly raw. Now I’m safer and use
condoms mostly. I’m getting back into group sex and know a
couple tops who want to double-fuck me. I’m just wondering
if you can have two dicks wearing condoms rubbing up against each
other or if the condoms are going to break.
Dear Sexaholic: Getting double-fucked could produce small tears in your ass, which would leave you very exposed if condoms are not used. Condoms are really quite strong so long as they do not encounter any sharp objects. You should be fine is long as you use lots of lube so there is no friction between the two condoms. If the sessions are especially long and hard you could have them pull out and check the condoms part way through just to be sure. Have fun.
From:
Biguy
Subject: Bisexuality
Question: I am very disappointed to hear you make a close-minded
uninformed statement saying that bisexuals are just homosexuals
who haven't become comfortable with their sexuality yet. Why do
so many people both straight and gay feel the need to pigeonhole
the human sexual experience into one box or the other? What is so
threatening about some of us, maybe the majority of us, falling
somewhere in between? I am still on my journey of discovery and
I may discover I am totally gay but I very much doubt it. Pussy
feels much better than a butthole to me and boobs are wonderful
but so is sucking dick and getting your ass serviced. I like it
all! Why can't you be happy for me instead of discounting me and
countless others? I also know a lot of other people that I can't
believe are simply living in denial because I know them pretty damn
well. But then who can argue with an expert like yourself. You know,
just because you've fucked a lot of people that doesn't make you
an expert on human sexuality.
Dear Biguy: I received a number of letters from guys who consider themselves bi, who were traumatized by my comment last month that in my experience most bi guys evolved into gay guys. I advised a married guy who was fucking around with men to consider if he should reflect on his situation and just come out. I do understand that it is possible for someone to be truly bisexual. If Samantha from Sex In The City came on to me, even I’d be there. But it is my experience that this is usually just a phase of coming out. I can only think of one guy I’ve ever know who was truly bisexual in the long run, and he was a psychopath who genuinely had no feelings for anyone but himself so was able to happily fuck with anyone without emotional involvement.
We mostly start out brainwashed by straight society and it is a tumultuous process to come to the realization that we are sexually interested in men. In my own experience, I had a regular girlfriend in college at the time I finally acted on my interest in men. There followed an extended period of sliding back and forth as I continued with straight activities while also exploring gay activities. This is ‘the phase’ where I was young, horny and confused, and most important, not emotionally involved. It was all a party. But to me sexuality is a whole lot more than which hole you prefer to put your dick in. Eventually you choose which party you want to continue attending based on the personal and emotional bonds you develop. So even though both an ass and a pussy are warm and wet, you’ll find that it eventually becomes important who these holes are attached to.
If you are happy, I’m happy for you. Don’t let me rain on your parade. Experimenting is fun and to be encouraged. But I suspect that I would not have received complaining emails on this subject if guys were feeling calmly confident in their bisexual identity.
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