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When you do this as long as we have (fourteen years), you begin to see a pattern in the types of questions asked by site visitors. Below are answers to frequently asked questions. For other questions, plus suggestions or problems, write us at email@example.com.
- 1. How often do you update pages?
- 2. How reliable is this information?
- 3. I'm new to this. Please provide some basics about cruising for sex with a guy.
- 4. What is a tearoom? A gloryhole?
- 5. Can you recommend a place to call with questions I have about sexual practices or fears I have about HIV/AIDS?
- 6. How can I contribute something to this site?
Tips, corrections and updates are added to the Sex Listings just about every day of the week. That doesn't mean we're never behind. We often are behind, if only because we get hundreds of tips and updates every week, but the information is being updated.
Since this information comes from people just like you who take the time to submit tips, it is as reliable as you make it. Of course no one has either the time or ability to verify any of this information so our advice is that you take it all with a fair degree of skepticism. If you are lucky, other guys will have read the same thing and decided to show up anyway. If you read something that you know is wrong, please let us know so we can make the correction.
CRUISING for SEX has come to be known as an authority on the subject of cruising. Since there are no courses to take (at least none that we know about) to learn cruising skills, we offer this advice.
The key to successful cruising is learning how to deal with your fears. Fear is a good thing. It often is a way the brain tells us to be very careful of something or someone that might hurt us. Men get bashed or arrested every day while cruising for sex. Many of these guys let down their guard when their instincts might have been saying, "Don't do it!" Finding the balance is the key that takes experience.
It might be helpful to know that most of the men you encounter in a theatre, park or toilet are likely as apprehensive as you are. We all are afraid of rejection, being busted by cops, or robbed or worse -- and for good reason. It is also true, however, that most of the men you encounter are horny guys who will respond to a smile, a "hello" or a signal from you such as the stroking of your cock through the fabric of your pants. If they stroke their cock in response that is a clear signal. Saying "hello" or smiling could simply be a form of courtesy, so don't jump on them just yet.
Small talk, while often called upon by men to help them relax, is rarely appropriate in sex environments. Guys are normally silent for the most part, walking around checking each other out. If you encounter a friend, acknowledge them, but for gosh sake don't start chatting. The silence, perhaps broken by the moans of sex, are part of the atmosphere. Chatter has no place in this scene.
Just as it is important to learn how to connect with a guy, it is equally important to learn how to take "no" for an answer. Be respectful of the men you encounter. Most likely saying "no" is not part of the come-on, but a real response to your advances.
Many men believe that asking a man if he is a cop is a way to be sure you aren't about to get busted. This is seriously wrong. If a man is actually a cop, he will not hesitate to lie in order to accomplish his goal: to bust you.
The most important piece of advice we can offer you is to feel good about yourself. You will be amazed at how it impacts your ability to connect. Something about the attitude you project does play a role in whether others are attracted to you. Besides, this is one of the great joys of life: having sex with men. Enjoy it to the extent possible!
Finally, if you want to read more on this subject, we do have a special section called Cruising 101 which attempts to explain the rules of etiquette in the world of cruising.
The one question we get asked the most is to explain what is meant by 'tearoom.' Tearoom is slang for a restroom where sex happens. In reality a tearoom could be any facility where guys usually go to pee, but wind up having a sexual encounter. It can happen anywhere, primarily because it is one of the very few public places in our society where men (gay, bi, and straight) come together and pull out their cocks around other guys. This happens all the time to all types of men (and probably teenage boys, too). It is a normal part of life.
When we list a restroom in the Sex Listings, it is because guys have found that this particular place tends to be very popular with men looking for quick sexual pleasure. In Australia these types of places are called "beats," while in England they call them "cottages."
A gloryhole is nothing more than a hole that a guy can stick his cock or ass into for sexual relief from another guy on the other side of a partition. There is a very informative FAQ about gloryholes that is well worth reading.
We know of one very good resource where one can speak anonymously to a real person about anything sexual. San Francisco Sex Information offers information by telephone at 415-989-7374. Phone lines are staffed by trained volunteers Monday - Friday 3pm - 9pm and Saturdays 2pm - 6pm, Pacific time. The only charge is for the phone call. Advice is free. They will take calls from anywhere in the world. These people have heard it all and offer sex-positive, nonjudgmental answers to your questions.
The people who visit this site are the lifeblood of CRUISING for SEX. We receive hundreds, indeed thousands of tips from men around the globe, most of which get posted in some form or another. Just go to the listings, see if your information isn't already included, and if not, use our online form to send us your tips or updates.
If you have a web page or blog and would like to promote CRUISING for SEX, please writte to us at firstname.lastname@example.org so that we can set you up with banners or links.and make sure to include recent pictures.
If you wish to contribute financially, the best thing you can do is visit our advertisers and, of course, buy something from them. It is because of their support that we can keep this website free to you. We thank them for continued support and we hope you'll show your thanks, too.