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Home > Features > Stories: It's Too Big

(posted January 12, 2006)

Snakes and Sailboats

by CB Potts

“Where you going, good looking?”

“Where do you think I’m going?” I replied, taking in my questioner with no more than a glance.

Trim, visibly balding, pushing fifty. Old enough to be my father. Shaking the fishing rod slung over my shoulder, I grinned.

“I’m heading down to play cards with the Pope!”

“Cool,” he replied. “I’ll join you. I’m in the mood for a good hand … of poker.”

“I’m sure you are,” I said, walking away, slowly.

I waited until I was a few more meters ahead, then, without turning, I shouted back.

“Come on then if you want to see my cards. There’s always room for one more player.”

Every road in this town ends at the lakeshore. We ambled down past the brightly lit tourist traps to the marina, ignoring the docks crammed with fishermen, choosing instead to cut between rows of dry-docked sailboats to a dark corner of the beach.

“Doesn’t look like many people fish over this way,” the older guy said, taking in our isolation with a smile. “My name’s JD, by the way.”

“Well, JD, you know you didn’t come here for the fish now did you?”

I laughed at his feigned look of shock and jerked my head at a mass of weeds floating a dozen yards offshore.

“Besides, there’s too many snakes out there. You wouldn’t want to pull one of them off, up on your line I mean!”

“But the water looks great.” JD said. “We should go swimming.”

He raised an eyebrow.

“Yeah, we should go skinny dipping!”

Even in the dark, I could see his eyes gleaming. His nostrils were twitching in the damp air.

“You’re whacked!” I replied. “That water’s gonna be mad cold!”

But my clothes landed in a rushed and crumpled heap, and I jumped straight into the water.

“Come on, slow poke!” I chided. “Come and get me. You know you want it!”

JD walked to the shore and looked at me clad only in the lake’s cool depths.

“Is that what I want?” he chuckled. “But that water does look awful cold.”

“It was your idea!” I protested.

“Let’s hope my bright idea isn’t my undoing,” he said.

He unzipped his fly, slowly, teasing me before I could see a pair of tight blue briefs that appeared to be stuffed with a goddamn eggplant.

“Yum,” I said, treading water a few feet from shore. “That looks good enough to eat!”

“No peeking now,” he said, turning his back to me.

He stood half in shadow, almost invisible against the keel of a dry-docked catamaran. Then, moving with a speed that belied his years, JD sprinted to the shore and dove into the lake. He disappeared under the water and surfaced only half a foot from me.

“This is nice,” he said, his long arms tracing figure eights on the water’s surface. “So nice that I’m surprised more people don’t come down here.”

I could see him scanning the beach for others.

“Not that I’m in the mood for any more company.”

“I told you, man,” I replied, wriggling away. “People don’t like the snakes.”

“And snakes don’t bother you?” he asked chasing after me.

“Tell you the truth, I don’t know.”

I stopped.

“I’ve lived up here all my life, swam in this lake the whole time, and never seen a single snake. But I don’t think I’d bug out if I saw one.”

“Let’s hope not,” JD said, pulling me close to him. “Because you’re about to see one now.”

He guided his hand down to his meat.

“Holy shit!” I breathed, shocked completely and totally speechless.

I’d never felt a cock that big in my long and checkered youthful career. His damn prick was as long as my forearm. Twelve inches if it were one, tapering from a head that was as broad as a closed fist to a base too thick to encircle with both hands. Ropy veins encircled the length of him, almost an inch high, providing an easy-grip texture for my little fingers. So I did what any self-respecting queer would do in that situation: I dug my toes into the sand, turned tail, and got ready to run. There was no fucking way.

“Oh no you don’t,” JD said, grabbing my shoulder.

Suddenly, I lost my balance and splashed backward, taking in big, gulping mouthfuls of dirty lake water. My feet went flailing upwards. All I could do was twist wildly as I desperately tried to rediscover the surface. I felt JD’s arms grab around me as he hoisted me up into the air. My head rested against the soft cushion of his chest while I continued to sputter and gasp.

“You told me you wanted me. So here it is.”

“There’s no way you’re fucking me with that thing! You’ll kill me!”

I tried to struggle free.

“I haven’t killed anyone yet!”

There was a long pause while he looked me directly in the eyes, pinning me in place with his gaze. After making sure I had my footing, he slowly let me go. He stepped back into shallower waters, bringing his oversized shaft flat with the water's surface. It bobbed atop the lake, gently floating in place like an abandoned piece of firewood.

“You could at least suck me off,” he pleaded.

Well, he did save my life. And my mouth was drier than dry, lips already aching at the thought of stretching around that monster. The sand swirled around my toes as I started to move closer to JD, closer to the biggest prick I’d ever seen.

“Who knows what would have happened if you never remembered you could stand up in four feet of water!” he whispered.

There was a smile dancing at the corner of his mouth. He knew he had me.

“But what if I can’t take it all?”

I licked my lips. I was nervous. I was excited.


There’s something about an older guy giving me directions that I just can’t resist. I fell to my knees, the lake concealing my body now from the shoulders down. Nothing but black water in every direction except directly ahead where I am eye-to-eye with a monstrous cock. The head was easily four inches across, flaring gently like an obscene plum.

“What do you know? There are snakes in this water after all!” I joked.

I let my tongue glide across the surface, tracing an inch-wide path across the velvet expanse. JD drew his breath in sharply, a hissing sound barely audible above the crashing waves.

“That’s a good start.”

Encouraged, I cradled the base of his meat with my widely splayed palms, and began slurping up and down the sides of his shaft, coating him with my saliva. My tongue bumped over his rope-like veins, gleefully navigating the network of sensitive tissues. Then I returned to the crown, swirling my tongue around the very tip. Even if I couldn’t swallow his entire massive cock, I was determined to cram as much of his meat into my mouth as possible.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a dark shape cutting among the waves, slithering out toward the weed-choked patch offshore. Completely oblivious to our presence, it sped by us in search of some dinner. JD never even noticed its passing.

One of the neat things about snakes is that they can eat prey several times larger than themselves simply by opening their mouth very, very wide. They accomplish this by having a detachable lower jaw. This is an advantage most humans aren’t born with. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try.

My chin splashed against the cool lake water as I began to engulf JD’s cock. With my lips stretched to their utmost, I managed to surround his bulbous head. I willed my tongue to lie flat and out of the way. I kept my eyes peeled and my mouth wide. JD just groaned, letting the waves buoy his weight.

“That feels so fucking good.”

Encouraged by his cries of pleasure, I slid my head forward, swallowing another half inch of his cockhead.

“Good boy,” he urged.

“Hey, what’s going on down there?” a voice called out from the docks. “Who’s out there?”

“Shit!” I heard JD mutter before putting both his hands on top of my head to push me down and off his prick.

Suddenly I was underwater again. I could tell JD was talking to somebody, but the water muffled his words. Clinging onto his thighs and then his calves, I moved to the lake floor to avoid detection. No sense holding my breath if this stranger on the shore could see my bubble butt bobbling around. But soon I needed to breathe. I needed to surface.

Unwilling to move backward into the black expanse of open water or closer to shore, I looked upward. JD’s serpent was no longer alone. Now I could see two long and dark serpentine shadows. Every time a wave passed overhead, the shadows would stir for a minute and then reform into two foot-long thick cylindrical shapes.

My need for air was starting to make itself known deep in my lungs. I studied the shadows intently. The shadow in the center seemed to be the most flexible, shifting and bending with even the tiniest wave. As I watched, it appeared to bend at a 90-degree angle. The shadow on the right was thicker and seemed to be more solid. It was markedly thicker at one end than the other, flaring out toward what could be a base or a head. I shuddered, knowing I had to pick between the center and the right shadow, and soon. One was a huge mouthful of delicious cock; the other was most assuredly not! What to do? I needed to act and I needed to act now. I let my body float up to JD’s knees. I reached up with my hand to encircle the center shadow. It had to be his, it just had to be!

My fingers wrapped around the shadow, expecting warm, firm meat. Instead, I got a handful of cold scales, angry cold scales that writhed wildly in my grip for the split second before I let go. The snake took off for open water, goaded onward by some wild splashing from JD.

Using his chaos as a cover, I kicked my feet, propelling my entire torso upward into his lap. I opened my mouth wide at the last possible second and pushed his entire cockhead back into my mouth. My cheeks puffed out as I strained to contain his meat and suck for air at the same time. I could feel the broad blunt tip pushing against the back of my throat. A rush of relief surged through my bloodstream.

“Jesus!” JD hissed, straightening his legs and pulling my head out of water. “You are fucking insane.”

He looked down at me, latched onto his prick, desperately sucking air through my nose. He tried to pull his hips backward. I wrapped an arm around his hips and stopped him. Having come so far, through the depths and into the air, I wasn’t about to quit now! I wanted this cock.

“Well, if that’s what you want,” JD said, slowly hitching his hips forward. “I’ll give you as much as you can take boy.”

I let my body float up to the surface, concentrating all my energies on accepting his cock down my throat. His prick was my anchor, the one and only root I had to the real world. He slowly fed millimeter after millimeter into my mouth, pulling on my shoulders gently. The waves would try to push me off of his meat, and now it was my turn to slither, serpentine, out into the lake. Then JD would slowly pull me back to where I was before, and then another inch more.

“God,” he said, when his shaft was buried deep in my throat with a good six inches still remaining untouched. “No one’s ever taken so much!”

I actually saw his cock flex, a physical tremor traversing the exposed surface of his shaft before trembling its way into my mouth three seconds before he lost his load down my throat. For once, I didn’t have to debate about swallowing. It was halfway to my stomach already.

“What…what the…”

I had to work my jaw for a few seconds before I could speak properly again.

“What the hell did you tell that guy?” I asked.

JD laughed.

“I told him I was trying to catch snakes for a pet store. He said I’d get one surer than shit down here.”

“Why not give it a try?” I replied, turning so my own cock, much smaller, but no less hard, came floating into his view. “I already caught one or two myself down there!”

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